A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action

The things music will do for you...

2005-10-26T17:54:00.000-07:00

Ok so I was reading through my notebook the other day that I use to write in and I came upon a short little poem i wrote some time ago for my dearest abigail! Yea sorry, I never finished it but I like the way it sounds the way it is. You were my inspiration darling! Enjoy!

She sits in her room all day long.
Playing over and over again her favorite song.
The hours tick by and she doesn't care
Because in her mind's eye she is everywhere
Her fingers still move when she closes her eyes
And she never gives up she always tries.
The smile on her face while she strums the strings
Is reflected on mine when she begins to sing
Music is her passion, her one release
For when she starts, she can never cease.
Music for her is like air to me
Cleansing her mind and setting her free.

Love ya Abby!

(Build me up) Buttercup

2005-09-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart
"I'll be over at ten", you told me time and again
But you're late, I wait around and then
I went to the door, I can't take any more
It's not you, you let me down again
(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time and I'll make you mine
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be home
I'll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo
Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart
You were my toy but I could be the boy you adore
If you'd just let me know
Although you're untrue, I'm attracted to you all the more
Why do I need you so
(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time and I'll make you mine
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be home
I'll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo
Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart
I need you, more than anyone, baby
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

What to do?

2005-07-09T17:43:00.000-07:00

Who in their right mind would want to blow themselves up?

Nobody.

Who would and did blow themselves up?

Terrorists. Because they are obviously not in their right mind.

So the recent terrorist attacks on London has really gotten some people riled up. In particular my grandpa. And man when he gets going he sure gets going. You can be reading a book not even paying any attention to him, yet he keeps going acting like you were paying attention. All you have to do when he pauses is agree with him. And if you don't agree, well then its not a pretty sight. He has one ugly temper, but then again he is Italian.

So I was reading the Chicago Tribune today and my grandpa just happened to notice. That really set him off because it seems the night before him and my brother had a particularly morbid discussion of punishment for terrorists. Well he proceeded to tell me at about 6:00 in the morning before I was evenly fully awake what should happen to the terrorits.

He believes that they should be hung from the ankles from the bridge in London. I forget the name, anyone know? I know it's so obvious but it has suddenly escaped my memory. They should be tethered with a forty foot rope to the bridge railing and the other end knotted around their ankles. Then we should pitch them over the side of the bridge and watch as their pelvis snaps and rips apart. Gory huh? yea try 6:00 in the morning. Then all the blood will drain to the top of their head because they are hanging upside down.

He wants to video tape this and show it on live on the news. Then he wants to make a special announcement that for anybody who missed the live version they will be airing it again on Monday night at 7:00 pm and again on Wednesday at 8:00 pm and again and again and again. So that terrorists will see what price they should pay. He also thinks lawyers should be given that same punishment so that they will stop defending terrorists. But that goes against our whole legal system of a right to a fair trial and innocent until proven guilty. He doesn't care though, the way he sees it, all the lawyers will be too afraid to defend terrorists.

So yea, thats what I listened to at 6 o'clock this morning. I don't know what to think.

Summer of 05

2005-06-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

This summer I want to be absolutely spontaneous. I want friends to call and say they are coming over and that I better be dressed, 5 mins before they show up. I want people to call at ten o'clock at night and say hey you want to go catch that new movie that starts in 10 mins? I want people to call at 2 or 3 in the morning just to talk. I want to pack a bag and hit the road for 3 or 4 days. I want to travel the road and not know where I am going. I just want to cruise along.
Heres a few things I want to do this summer. I know it's a list but I don't care.

1. Go horse back riding
2. Have a campout at the beach or potato creek
3. stay up all night for 24 hours
4. stay out all night and not get home until dawn
5. go canoeing down the st. joe river
6. drive w/ friends to chicago--no adults--no trains!
7. rent a hotel room w/ friends and have a blast w/ movies, swimming, hot tubs, and room service
8. spend a whole day at barnes and noble
9. barbecue and bonfire
10. jet ski--its a must!
11. ride in a hot air balloon (maybe it might be a little scary)
12.Have a long meaningful phone conversation in the middle of the night (I'm not a big phone person but I really want to do this I dont know why)
13. Get over my silly fears so I dont look like an idiot
14. Learn to control my mouth like think before I talk
15.Have a huge game of beach volleyball
16. Watch movies I have never seen but that people claim are classics
17. Let my friends know just how much I will miss them and how much I love them
18. __________________________________
I'm leaving that one blank because I don't feel like sharing it with the whole world. i might tell u if u ask but prolly not.

A Blubbering Idiot

2005-06-01T23:49:00.000-07:00

This will be me at graduation:

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to Cry if I want to
You would too if it happened to you!

But college will be fun too . . . . right. . . . ?

Big Girls Don't Cry

2005-05-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

My post has nothing to do whatsoever with my title. I just thought it was an interesting title. So ever since I got my grades on my Van Goey papers, I have felt like a worthless student who is so full of shit and incapable of writing anything. yes that is how bad my grades were. and yes van goey pretty much told me that my paper was full of shit. anyways, really enjoyed writing up to that point, but i haven't really been doing that much of it so since i don't have any homework, i decided to sit down at the computer and just type. this is what came to me. i'm not finished yet, i'll keep it going.

“Emma come back here right now!” shouted Emma’s mom.
“No! You ruined everything! You always ruin everything! You never let me have any fun! I hate you!” screamed Emma.
“Emma Nicole you come back here this instant. You do not walk away from me when I am talking to you! And we do not use the word hate in this house!” hollered Mrs. Riley.
Emma ignored her mother and stalked into her room and slammed the door with all her might. The sound reverberated through the house. Then everything was quiet. Mrs. Riley shook her head and sighed.
“I just don’t know how to make her understand,” she said to herself.
Then the doorbell rang. Mrs. Riley, exasperated, started toward the door. But she never made it. She felt a sharp pain on the back of her skull and then everything went black.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Emma stayed in her room until nine o’clock that evening. Then she heard her dad come in through the garage door. She listened to him cross the kitchen where he would hang his keys by the door and take off his shoes. He would then proceed to the family room where his wife would be sitting watching television. She would listen to her mom giggle as her dad planted a big wet one on her mom’s lips and then her dad would call out to her. “Emma I’m home, how’s my little cupcake?” It was the same routine everyday. It was not that she was a little girl, she was 18, for christ’s sake, but her dad had always called her cupcake ever since she was little. But today, as she listened for her mom’s squeal of delight and her dad’s voice full of affection, it never came.
She heard her dad’s footsteps stop short of the family room. She heard a muttered “Jesus Christ” and then “Karen! Karen! What happened? Are you alright?” Emma was suddenly alarmed, what was wrong? Why was her father’s voice so panicky?
“Emma! Emma! Emma, are you home! Emma answer me! Oh god!” sobbed Mr. Riley.
Emma immerged in the family room. Her father was bent on the floor near her mom who lay in a pool of something crimson and dark. He was sobbing, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
“Dad?” Emma asked.
Her dad looked up.
“Oh god, Emma!” he looked at her, tears streaming down his face. Then he buried his head in his hands and leaned over his wife, who lay motionless on the floor.
It was then that Emma realized that her mom wasn’t moving. It was then that she realized that it was blood that surrounded her mom. It was then that she realized her mom was dead.

Lonely No More

2005-04-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
Words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever baby

[Chorus:]I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it's harmony Girl, what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything; just to get you back again
Why can we just try

[Chorus:]I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

What if I was good to you, what if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise, what if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you

[Chorus:]I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore
I don't wanna be lonely anymore [x3]

So yea, this song rocks! I don't know why seeming as it doesn't really apply to anything in my life right now but I really love this song. I think I might buy the CD. hmmmm.......

I guess it kind of applys to everybody though, because I don't think anybody ever wants to be lonely. Everyone is afraid they will grow up and never marry and die lonely. But as long as you have friends you won't die lonely. So guys.....if you ever feel lonely, call me and we can hang out! or if you just need to talk...i can listen.

But anyways that sounds a bit depressing so to end on a good note.....ummm....can't really think of anything right now...soooo........

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure

I like that part, it is so true! If you love someone its best to know for sure even though its hard to sometimes know.

Everyone's Favorite Subject....PROM!!!

2005-04-11T19:50:00.000-07:00

Right so today is April 11. Prom is in 11 days. There is one weekend in between. There is so not enough time!!

I just got back from Spring Break on Saturday night at about midnight. Had to be at work on Sunday at 8 in the morning. Boy was I tired.

Then I come to remember that my 8 page research paper is due on Thursday. (yes i know its not officially due until Monday but I really need the extra credit for that class!)

Then guess what? 11 days until prom! yea its still there. I don't have a dress, I don't have anything! I have one weekend to find a dress!aye yai yai! what's a girl to do?

I'm dreading going to school tomorrow. I know that everybody is going to be talking about prom and who they are going with and what their dress looks like. I do not even want to have to think about prom. It will just stress me out.

I need a vacation!

O right I just got back. hmmm....feels like i've been back for a month already. not a good sign. but only 2 months of school left(actually a little less)!!! I cannot wait. Still don't konw where I am going to college, that's another stressful subject.

Man I need another week of vacation to get things together!

O well to end on a good note, my term paper is now complete! 2 points for me!

I Will Survive

2005-03-25T00:36:00.000-08:00

At first i was afraid i was petrified

Kept thinking i could never live without you by my side

But then i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong

And i grew strong and i learned how to get along

And now your back, from outta space

I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face

I should have changed that stupid lock i should have made you leave your key

If i'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door

Just turn around now cuz your not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye

Did ya think i'd crumble

Did ya think i'd crumble did ya think id lay down and die

Oh no not i, i will survive

Oh as long as i know how to love i know ill stay alive

Ive got all my life to live ive got all my love to give

Ill survive i will survie hey hey

It took all the strength i had not to fall apart

And tried so hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart

And i spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself

I used to cry, but now i hold my head up high

And you see me..somebody new,

Im not that chained up little person still in love with you

And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free

But now im saving all my loving for someone whos loving me

Go on now go walk out the door

Just turn around now cuz your not welcome anymore

Werent you the one who tried to break me with goodbye

Did ya think id crumble did ya think id lay down and die

Oh no not i i will survive

Oh as long as i know how to love i know ill stay alive

Ive got all my life to live ive got all my love to give

Ill survive..i will survive ohh go on now go

Walk out the door just turn around now cuz your not welcome anymore

So yea like this is the most female inspirational song ever! It kicks ass! Today was....unique...eventful....ummmm crappy! Let's just say it sucked. I found out some information that truthfully I did not want to know, but yet I'm glad my friend told me. Now the question is should I act selfishly but I'm coming from a good view here because truth be told it was a really shitty thing to do or should I let my friend decide what to do and what makes her happy. Because frankly I don't want her to do it yet if she really wants to do it because it will make her happy should I be the one to stand in her way? I mean she is my friend and I want her to be happy but I also think she should respect my wish on this too. Abby you know what I'm talking about. HELP ME!!

Come Sail Away

2005-03-23T22:57:00.000-08:00

So I went to see Styx in concert at the Morris Performing Arts Center this past Sunday and it was so awesome!!! Now granted, I am not a huge Styx fan but I have heard some of their songs and they are pretty cool, not to mention that the tickets were free so who would turn them down right?! Well my all time favorite Styx song would have to be renegade because well I dont know I just love it. But the best song that night was definitely "Come Sail Away"!

OMG! The music just rocked! All the instruments and the guy on the keyboard was amazing!!! And then the audience got to sing back to them and man I just belted out those lyrics. This is like the first time I have really gotten into a concert. The music was just so damn good! OH I LOVED IT!! (sorry just me expressing myself)

I have no musical talent whatsoever, but to hear them play those instruments was just too cool. I have always been amazed by people who can sing and dance and play an instrument. I admire musicians so much because what they do I could never do and they are just so good its amazing! Anyway enough of my ranting. Good night!